Love a Life, Save a Life, Celebrate a Family

March 28th is a very interesting day for our family. It’s a day chock full of memories, tears and most importantly, gratitude. It’s only been five years since the good Lord brought us through the most traumatic experience ever; watching our youngest daughter, Ava, almost die in our arms because of a Vitamin D deficiency.

Since that experience, we have always chosen to celebrate the day and not focus on the hurt of it all. Think about it, we watched our child go from happy to pain to death and then back again – all in six minutes. What’s not to celebrate?

Learn more about our daughter’s story by reading our previous post, No Words

This morning, as I got our daughter dressed for school, I thanked her for coming back to us. I make a point to say this to her every year because I know that it could have gone another way. And every year she always looks up at me and says the same thing, “You’re welcome Mommy. I love you!” It’s almost as if she remembers the day and knows she could have left this earth and stayed gone.

Over the five years we’ve celebrated by creating a program, Lovin’ Life to Save Lives, where we have brought in experts to teach CPR classes. We’ve organized toy drives for the children at Beaumont Children’s Hospital and Detroit Children’s Hospital, and we’ve also told our story to our family, friends, co-workers – basically anyone that will listen. A few years ago, we took Ava back to Beaumont and showed the nurses that she is well and very happy. Our goal is simple – to share our story so that no one else has to go through what we went through.

” You’re welcome Mommy. I love you!”
It’s almost as if she remembers the day and knows she could have left this earth and stayed gone.

This year’s celebration will be a private one. Our menu is based on Ava’s choice and we will watch a movie, even though tonight is a school night. Hopefully her brother and sister like what she selects or there may be a brief fight. As we gather together in our living room, the same living room where it all happened, it will be wonderful to have our little family bundled up with lots of blankets and pillows. Tonight I won’t worry so much about the popcorn that will inevitably end up on the floor. I am going to spend this evening and every evening basking in gratitude, because God gave us another chance to be together….ALL of US.

It’s Time for Real Paid Parental Leave

Returning to work after maternity or paternity leave can be extremely emotional. I can remember dropping off my eldest at my Mother-in-Law’s house on my first day back to work. I packed everything and more into the diaper bag and took extra breast milk – just in case there were accidents. As my little one was getting settled, I lingered in the foyer, trying to think of all of the reasons to stay at home and instead was reminded of all of the reasons that I had to return to work.

Knowing I was going to be late, I kissed my little one goodbye and cried all the way to work. Deep inside I knew I wasn’t ready to return to my place of employment.

REALITY SETS IN

It’s not rocket science. Most people know that six weeks is not long enough for paid parental leave. Whether you are adopting or taking care of a newborn, parents need more time to adjust to a new person in the home. Those who are caring for a newborn know that recovery from giving birth – even a normal birth – can take as long as six weeks. (Let’s not discuss the gory details of the dreaded “Fourth Trimester.”

While health benefits top the list of staying at home longer than six weeks, it can be pretty tough to deal with financially. There are companies that offer family leave programs, but employees have to file for “short-term disability” after using all of their paid time off. There has to be a medical reason for someone to extend their benefits. If you have been medically cleared to return to work, but want to stay at home any longer than the six weeks, then you can apply for the Family and Medical Leave Act- and stay home UNPAID for up to 12 weeks. That means whether they are ready or not, many parents return to work so that they can feed their families.

There are some states that are seeking to help out families by developing or expanding their parental leave programs. States like New Jersey are expanding their family leave program. The updated bill increases how much money you’ll receive during your time off and how long you can collect benefits. Those expansions will take effect July 1, 2020. Other changes to the program include which family members can qualify as caregivers and whether your employer has to have a job waiting for you when you return to work. Those benefits will roll out sooner.

Alexis Ohanian, co-founder of Reddit, took a 16-week paternity leave when he and wife Serena Williams had their beautiful daughter Olympia. His time at home allowed him to establish a bond and help his wife who experienced troubles post-birth. The experience has spurred Alexis to launch a two-pronged Dove Men+Care initiative to champion paternity leave.

In a Washington Post article, Alexis discusses the initiative, which includes a $1 million fund for fathers with no access to paid leave through their employers. Employees who only get unpaid leave, freelancers and self-employed men are encouraged to apply for a $5,000 grant. The other initiative is a “Pledge for Paternity Leave,” asking men to commit to taking their full leave and share their experience. It asks business leaders to pledge to enact paid paternity leave policies.

It’s time for the US to step up to the plate and offer realistic and helpful family leave for growing families. Hopefully the efforts that states and companies will make a difference in addressing the stigma and helping families bond with their children.

Lovin’ Life to Save Lives

I love to plan parties. Every birthday, the hubby and I pull all of the money we can together to make sure that our children feel celebrated. And it usually  works, to the point that when it is our birthday, they feel that we need to have a party too.

So of course we wanted to celebrate the first anniversary of Ava’s experience.

To read more about Ava’s story, click here

Though some will want to forget the day that we lost her only to have God return her sweet spirit to us 6 minutes later,  we feel the need to be ever thankful. The way that we show our thanks to the Lord is to share with our friends and family the importance of CPR training.

Are you CPR certified? Join us!

We teamed up with the Ecclesia Community Development Corporation to develop an event that is fun and educational. With Ava in mind, we are calling the event Lovin’ Life to Save Lives. On Saturday, March 19, 2016,  we invite everyone to participate in CPR Training/Certification at Greater Ecclesia Temple in Detroit. The event, which costs $25/person, begins at 10am and lunch is provided.

If you are certified, and would like to sponsor someone else, please message me today. Our goal is to make sure that no one goes through what we went through. My hubby saved Ava’s life through brief CPR training learned by watching tv. We want you to have the real thing.

Greater Ecclesia Temple is located at 9611 Iris Street in Detroit.

Big News in a Small Package

My #WCW are the other women that just happen to live with me. They are so alike and so different that I am amazed to be their mother.

ALSO…we are happy to report that Ava is doing well! She had a battery of tests yesterday, which made for a yucky day at the hospital. However, her doctor called yesterday evening and told us that her calcium and Vitamin D levels have normalized and the Rickets are healing! It looks like there will be two more doctor’s appointments and we will be back to normal!

Have you had your Vitamin D for the day?

Life Demands a Celebration!

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” Les Brown

I love celebrating birthdays. While I know that all days are special, I love the planning, purchasing special trinkets and preparing delicious meals for our guests to ooh and ahh over. Though it was Mother’s Day weekend, my mind was on the planning of our very special princess’ birthday party.

THE PLANNING

Initially we weren’t planning on doing anything big, but life’s circumstances demanded a celebration! A marketing professional by trade, I couldn’t wait to design the birthday invitation. I poured over the 5 million pictures that we have of her and tried to find a way to incorporate them all. Once that was completed, my mind turned to the guest list. Our house isn’t a mansion, so we had to be careful!

THE EVENT

The day of the event, I worried about the rain. We were expecting a thunderstorm and I just knew that it was going to ruin our event. After all, we had rented a bouncer ( provided by JJ’s Jumping Party Rental) for the kids to play in, purchased fantastic cupcakes (provided by CakeLuv) and my husband planned to fire up the grill. Thankfully, God wanted to party as well. Of the invited guests, most showed up, excited to celebrate with us. The event was especially special because my parents and sister came from Georgia to celebrate. They didn’t get an opportunity to see our daughter in the hospital and I am sure the distance between Georgia and Michigan made them worry even more.

After all of the guests arrived, we brought everyone together for prayer. My husband and I weren’t attempting to relive our daughter’s episode, but we felt that we had to let everyone know that their prayers and well wishes meant the world to us. Holding hands, our Pastor/my Father-in-Law reminded us of the seriousness of her deficiency and to value the importance of parenthood and life.

The rest of the event was spent laughing and eating and laughing some more. The cupcake we got her was smashed and played with more than it was actually eaten, but it was good to see her try new things. My good friend Kyra made a fantastic chocolate cake for the adults…super delicious!

The event was a perfect way to celebrate and I look forward to planning more birthday parties. As I closed my eyes at the end of the evening, I told myself that although we almost lost that opportunity, God sent our blessing back so that she could receive all of the love and attention that our family and close friends have to offer. Life is precious!